


they don’t know who is coming for them

by Marmeladeskies



Series: A Series of Random Mighty Nein Moments because these Kids Deserve Happiness and Attention [7]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Everybody loves Jester, Multi, Protecting Jester, Protective Beau, Protective Caleb, Protective Fjord, Sexist Language, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, bandits, but don‘t worry, general badassery, mentions of intended sexual abuse, no one is dying in this fic, oblivious Caduceus, protective nott, they would all die for Jester without hesitation, well apart from the bad guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 05:57:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20925296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marmeladeskies/pseuds/Marmeladeskies
Summary: Beau didn‘t like the way he looked at them- it was a look she knew all too well from sleazy, drunk men walking by on the street or leering at her in taverns. This one wasn‘t directed at her, though- his eyes seemed to linger on Jester.(Jester gets threatened. The M9 don’t like it one bit.)





	they don’t know who is coming for them

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: sexist language, threat of rape 
> 
> Also: everybody fucking sees red when their Favorite Blue Friend is threatened 
> 
> Enjoy!

„Listen, we don‘t have any gold left we can give you.“ 

Fjord held up his hands in the universal gesture of ‚we don’t want any trouble here‘. The bandits, however, didn‘t seem very impressed. They were an amalgamation of differenct races and nationalities it seemed, all of them looking rather crooked.

„Also“, Beau added, „We had, like, a really shitty day, so why don‘t you fuck off?“   
That earned her a reproachful look from Fjord, but she just grimaced and shrugged in reply- why did those damn bandit have to show up right after they had just come out of a fight against a bunch of ogres?!

Their leader, a rough-looking half-orc with unhealthy grey skin and wisps of greasy hair, just scoffed.   
Next to her, Beau could hear Caleb whisper something under his breath, some kind of spell for sure. 

„We’re not about to leave empty-handed.“, the half-orc growled, shifting his stance just slightly. The bandits had them outnumbered, which usually wasn‘t that big of a deal for the Mighty Nein, especially since none of them looked particularly skilled or armoured. But they were all tired after their previous, taxing fight, having been unable to take a long rest since. 

Caduceus inklined his head; how he was still smiling, Beau didn‘t know. „Maybe we can offer you a trade? Something we have in return for you leaving us alone? You know, like my dear friend just mentioned, we had a bit of a rough day and we really don‘t want to fight you.“

More like, slaughter you., Beau thought to herself, but kept her mouth shut. It was probably better to leave the talking to her more charismatic friends right now. 

The half-orc exchanged a glance with a few of his compatriots, genuinely seeming to consider the offer. Wow, they had to be a desperate bunch. 

The leader barked something at one of the others in a language Beau didn‘t understand and then began circling them, slowly, looking them and all of their things over with narrow eyes, looking for something acceptable to take. Beau was pretty sure they wouldn’t get out of this without a fight, but maybe it was worth a try. 

„We have a really nice cart!“ Caduceus was entirely too cheerful for Beau‘s taste right now. „Or would you care for an ogre head? It‘s really fresh.“

The half-orc ignored him and continued his round. Beau didn‘t like the way he looked at them- it was a look she knew all too well from sleazy, drunk men walking by on the street or leering at her in taverns. This one wasn‘t directed at her, though- his eyes seemed to linger on Jester, who just stood with her arms crossed, a little wound on her brow from their earlier fight trickling a bit of blood down her temple. She looked like she was about to stick her tongue out at him.   
Beau shifted, bringing herself a little more in front of Jester, forcing the bandit to break his eye contact. 

He scowled at her, but finally finished his round.

„We’ll take the blue one.“

Beau‘s grip around her staff tightened immediately.  
There was a shift to their group- those who understood, and those who didn’t. Caduceus, leaning forward, frowning in confusion, and Jester, who didn‘t seem to understand and went „huh?“.   
But Fjord and Caleb both tensed and shifted, Caleb even taking a step forward.  
Nott, though, had the strongest reaction. The noise of her crossbow being readied was drowned out by a shrill „Never!“ as she scrambled over, wedging herself in front of Jester until her back was pressed againt Jester‘s skirts.

„Yeah no, that’s not gonna happen.“ Fjord‘s voice had taken on a more threatening tone which Beau wholeheartedly supported. 

The bandit leader scoffed, shrugging. „That’s the deal we want. Give us the blue tiefling and we‘ll let you go.“

Beau could hear a little „oh.“ behind her as Jester finally understood what his intention was. 

„Oh, she’s not really skilled in anything useful.“, Caduceus said, obviously trying to lie to protect Jester, not understanding the true nature of the bandit‘s demand. 

„She doesn’t have to be skilled as long as she can lie still with her legs spread.“ 

Beau had never, never wanted to bash anyone‘s head in this badly, not since Lorenzo. 

„...you are very rude.“ Caduceus had apparently finally caught on.

There was a soft woosh-noise next to Beau as Fjord summoned the Falchion. 

Jester herself was oddly quiet behind Beau, and for a second she wondered why- until she realized that Jester had already been kidnapped from their group once before. The realization only made Beau angrier. 

„We get the tiefling, you‘re free to go. That’s the deal we‘re gonna strike. We’ve got you outnumbered, so I suggest you take it.“ 

„If you think my friends would just give me away like that, you’re really stoopid!“ Finally, a word from Jester herself- but Beau could hear a little bit of shakiness in her voice. Without looking, she reached backwards with one hand. A second later, one of Jester‘s curled around it. 

„Yeah! Fuck you!“ Nott sounded like she was about to spit acid.

„So, you‘d rather fight and die? We’ll kill all of you and just take her anyway.“ The bandit had entirely too much confidence. His buddies were backing him up with leering grins and drawn swords. „Is that what you want to do?“

„No.“ Caleb‘s voice was much quieter, but more threatening than Beau had ever heard him. It gave her a surge of pride. „We are going to kill you.“ 

The bandit smirked, showing a bunch of yellow teeth. „Good luck. Your friend is going to make a fine-“

Before he could finish, Caleb cast Fireball. Only a split second later, a massive Eldritch Blast followed and a crossbow bolt whizzed by Beau‘s ear. Beau had to let go of Jester‘s hand to get into melee range, but the horrified screaming of men being attacked by a swarm of beetles behind her gave her grim satisfaction, as did the pink sawblade lollipop popping up in her periphery.

These idiots had no idea who was coming for them.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments make a writer smile :)


End file.
